the north face jacket mens Athletes Who’ve Gotta Be On Steroids
A Los Angeles Times article reports he has cut his body fat from 29 percent to around 6 percent in the last few years, and also describes Dre pumping his arms and saying, “I feel like I can kick a brick wall down now.” Nope, everything sounds pretty normal there.
The ridiculous “I’m not on steroids, I just spend all of my time in the gym” argument is a classic denial strategy that has been employed by the likes of Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong. It’s basically the equivalent of saying, “I’m not on cocaine because I stay up all night dancing like a douche bag and gritting my teeth.” We bet this guy spends a lot of his time in the gym, too. Times article doesn’t come down on either side of the steroid debate, we’re going to side with the hip hop bloggers, who have taken the much bolder stance of, “nigga look like the incredible hulk. gay shit,” and more specifically, “yeah dre is full off that act right JUICE. Lol”.
In body builder slang, vascularity is the degree to which your veins bulge through your skin, and according to the body building forums we frequent, the veins bulging from CT’s arms, shoulders, neck, face and eyeballs indicate he’s getting chemical assistance other than the two drink minimum at the comedy club.
Then again, this is the same body building forum where , “Like or hate his shtick, it’s pretty physical so I can see where he’d have to be in shape.” So, we may not be dealing with guys with MDs behind their names, here.
We couldn’t figure out why a comedian would need to make himself so physically imposing. Then, we put it all together.
He’s got a nickname that corresponds to his looks;
His incessant visual punning gives him an annoying gimmick;
He appears to have some recent chemical burning of his face and corresponding spackle makeup.
That’s right: Carrot Top is a Batman villain.he turned into a muscle bound Greek God who looked like he could slaughter everyone on the New York Stock Exchange trading floor with his bare hands, while on his lunch hour.
He worked out with a trainer in Maui for eight hours a day (according to this and this).
Our first impression watching Hot Shots! Part Deux was that they did an incredible makeup job with Sheen and the latex muscle suit. The skin looked very realistic and . holy shit! Dude, that’s really him!
It took Sheen just five months to go from regular guy to looking like a bulging freak of nature. So,
supposedly, if you start in October you can have a Stallone esque physique by around Valentine’s Day.
We’re not buying it. The average CRACKED staffer works out about four hours a day and when we flex for each other in the hall, we’re not seeing bodies like Sheen had. Toss in Sheen’s history of drug use and it’s easy to imagine he took some chemical shortcuts.
Unless Madonna defines “horse riding” as wrestling a wild stallion into submission and then eating its raw flesh, we’re guessing she didn’t get those arms riding horses. Yoga is even more laughable.
Marion Jones’ pretty face allowed the mainstream media to ignore that veins like the roots of a sequoia tree were bulging from her awkwardly huge muscles. The fact that there are two pretty awesome boobs hanging between Madonna’s shoulders shouldn’t distract you from their alarming “male gymnist mid pummel horse routine.” quality.
We’re undecided on this one. Sure, the situation is almost identical to Charlie Sheen’s, but Bale is a sworn method actor and Sheen is a creepy looking drug addict (or was at the time).
Being a method actor means that doing a whole bunch of crazy, ridiculous shit to your body is just part of the process. Bale got real life skinny because his character in The Machinist was insanely skinny, so it might stand to reason that he would only take steroids if Bruce Wayne took steroids. This theory on Bale’s strict method does imply that his process also included dressing up in a bat suit, stalking around Manhattan and murdering muggers, but he’s so intense that we’re actually willing to believe he’d do that.
What we can’t get over is the claim that he got that physique on ice cream, pizza and milkshakes. First of all, who was his nutritionist, Chuck E. Cheese? After he ate all the pizza and ice cream did he spend three hours doing laps in the ball pit followed by 250 reps on the Whac a Mole?
They did several episodes about it in his reality show Breaking Bonaduce, where they took a camera and basically watched Bonaduce being addicted to things for several weeks. Steroids, alcohol and, most of all, cheap, tawdry fame.
Danny apparently decided years ago he was going to devote his entire life to being dysfunctional and scary. He roughed up a transvestite back in 1991. He apparently enjoyed the feeling of causing weird and damaging confrontations wherever he went. At some point, he decided to transform his body into a machine that could take scary and awkward behavior to a superhuman level:
We’re not the only ones who suspected ‘roids. Apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger contacted Norton asking if he had done a cycle of steroids to get that big. We’re thinking Arnold is probably something of an expert on the subject.
Conveying American History X’s complex theme (that racism is wrong) required a chiseled and menacing figure to represent white supremacy. And, let’s face it, if white supremacists all looked like the “before” picture up there, it’d be hard to take racism seriously as a problem. Society could simply put racism in a headlock until it made a tearful apology.
So, what’s our point? Well, remember Rocky III when an aging Rocky had to fight the young upstart Clubber Lang? Well, here’s what Clubber Lang looks like today.
Sure, Stallone has always been in shape, but he’s 60 fucking years old. It doesn’t help his case that, while promoting this film, Stallone was stopped at an Australian airport and charged with illegally importing a steroid known as HGH (human growth hormone).
“To [customs officials] it’s major, but it’s really minor stuff. I just made a mistake . I misunderstood a few things, and we are going through the process.”